What is Reality?

Since the dawn of civilization Humans have learnt language & the world around them through story telling. Whether it be Religion, the Night sky that was used to guide sailors home, or paintings on walls, humans love sharing their own universal truths through stories.

On a brief stint in the psych-ward I met a fascinating junction, the reason why; I wanted to end my life. No, please don't feel bad for me, I'm not looking for pity, these dark spots in life often give us the most rich lessons to learn and this was one of them. I have never been delusional, in fact far from it; When you grow up in a chaotic home you are met with the veil of tragedy that opens your eyes to how the world works, and you can never go back after seeing that void.

See, people love to pretend there is a universal "correct" reality when, in truth, everyone filters the world through their own experiences biases and emotions, Saying someone has 'lost touch with reality' is often just a way to dismiss them when their perspective doesn't align with the dominant narrative.

In reality (pun intended), perception is subjective, and what we call 'reality; is just a collective agreement on what most people choose to believe.

The real question is: whose version of reality holds power, and who gets to decide what is "delusional" and what is "truth"?

Consider this: a ripe tomato. Objectively, it is red. Subjectively, it may be deemed delicious or disgusting. If the majority consensus dictates that tomatoes are gross, then that becomes the dominant narrative or 'Reality'. Those who dissent are labeled “insane.” The objective fact; the tomato’s redness remains, but our perception of it is dictated by the prevailing narrative. Those who deviate risk ostracization. Simplified: The Dominant Narrative is that the Tomato is Bad, and those who deem it Good are considered 'insane', the worlds reality runs on the dominant narrative, but everyone can agree the tomato is still Red.

While it's true that everyone sees the world through their own lens, "losing touch with reality" usually means that someone's beliefs or perspectives have drifted so far from the widely shared, objective facts of the dominant narrative that they become dysfunctional in everyday life. In other words, while subjective experiences vary, there is still a baseline common, verifiable truths that most people agree upon. When someones view deviates dramatically from the consensus, to the point that it impairs their ability to interact with the world effectively, it's often labelled as 'losing touch with reality'.

Yes, in many cases society labels ideas or behaviors as "insane" when they fall outside the shared consensus of what's considered "normal". But this consensus itself is shaped by cultural norms, historical context, and available evidence and isn't always the objective truth. What one generations deems insane might later be seen as visionary, and vice versa. The line between what is considered "insane" and what is just unconventional is often fluid and subject to change as our collective understanding evolves.

My life has been a testament to the perils of existing outside the consensus.. My unconventional perspective has drawn dangerous attention or isolation depending on the situation. My views simply, do not fit in with what's considered a norm by the 'majority' consensus and let me tell you why:

One of my many bad reputations is the Majority perception believes young moms are, irresponsible, reckless or "don't think things through". Society assumes I have made bad choices, lack stability, and will inevitably struggle. Even when I have proved otherwise (time and time again): working hard, raising great well adjusted kids, or being successful, people still frame it as the exception, not the rule. Even though the objective truth is that parents at any age enter motherhood with the same amount of experience: none.

And worse people have loved to punish me for existing, they act like my motherhood was a personal failing rather than a circumstance, (one that actually saved me) they imposed extra obstacles as if to "teach me a lesson." 'It's never just "you had kids young", it's "you have to suffer for it".

This is just one example of the few majority consensus realities I have opposed in my life that have led me to the easy label of 'insane' by others chosen reality. I work hard, smarter and faster than others but all my success can amount to is "a lucky miracle" and never by my own doing.

Why I wanted to end my life was simple; I know the objective facts I lived through, but I live in a highly emotional world where the dominant narrative will always be that I'm insane, and a threat for challenging those who try to push me into a box I refused to be in. Realizing this fact helped me overcome the scar inside my soul, I will never have the dominant narrative, but the lessons I learned are far more useful than any label pushed on me by the majority consensus, and a obsessive family member who successfully uses me to manipulate others to fulfill their fantasy of fame. I believed only for a second I wasn't good enough for my children, that her narrative will always take over but the truth is; it only does when I let it, and I will never believe that narrative again, even when others do.

Society frequently labels unconventional ideas or behaviors as “crazy” when they challenge the established consensus, and this is just a fact. The fabric of reality and Truth is a flimsy silk ready to be folded to whatever bullshit the majority deem the most comfortable to accept.

However, the Tomato is still Red.

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